


Right Beside Me

by Charlie9646



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, Death Eater - Freeform, F/M, Infidelity, Morally Grey, Severus Snape Lives, questionable morals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:07:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22643080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie9646/pseuds/Charlie9646
Summary: Severus Snape had always been there for Narcissa Malfoy in a way her husband had not been. He protected her son for her—when no one else would. Lily Evans might have been scared of the darkness that the man had experienced and that he carried, but Cissa knew darkness far too well, she was a Black after all.
Relationships: Narcissa Black Malfoy/Severus Snape
Comments: 9
Kudos: 46
Collections: Love Fest 2020





	Right Beside Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jess6800](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jess6800/gifts).



It was easily past midnight when Narcissa finally found him— Severus Snape— at the party, her husband insisted she hosted. He was her Lucius’s dear friend, one of her son’s favorite people, and one of the few she could speak to about her fear that the dark lord would come back. He regularly acted like a cornered wounded animal ready to strike at anyone who dared to get too close. Severus was like a viper fearful of something daring to try and help it, so instead of accepting it would attack.

But, the truth was, so was she. Long ago, Narcissa had been a girl with two sisters she loved dearly, parents who cared much for her, and a boyfriend of her dreams. Now? One sister was gone, lost to all-consuming madness, another lost to a mudblood, and her parents were both dead due to grief of both of her sister's actions.

All she had now was her son, her husband, and Severus. Narcissa knew it was wrong to cheat, but she could not bear to give up either man. Her mother, if alive, would call her a harlot, and a black mark on what it meant to be a woman. Well, what it meant to be a witch.

She sat next to him on the balcony overlooking the gardens. Severus turned to her; his black eyes reflected the moonlight. ”Narcissa, we shouldn't...”

”He’s had a little too much to drink, Sev; we don't have to worry about him till morning. He's passed out in a spare room.”

Severus snarled, ”Why musthe always drink so much?”

Narcissa confessed, ”Because that is his escape... Everyone has them, even us.” She took his pale, long-fingered hand into her own.

He let her hand go as if it were a hot ember. ”But Draco doesn't deserve to watch his father be falling over drunk.” A snarl marred his face making him look far older than he was.

”Love, Draco is at a friend’s home, he will not see it. Lucius doesn't do this when he's around.He's not your father. He's not Tobias.”

Severus turned to face her, ”I know, and I am sorry. I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. I shouldn't be so ungrateful for our time together, let's start over.”

Narcissa tucked a few strains of midnight black hair behind his ear and out of his face. Felt clean and smooth; maybe the potions for his depression were finally working the one's she nearly had to force him to take. He now was no longer too depressed to take care of himself. ”You don't have to pretend to be okay with me Severus, I of all people understand what it feels like to not be okay.”

Narcissa knew the functional depression that could drown a person while everyone was watching far too well. The demons haunted the halls of her mind— the darkness that tried to eat her alive at one point.

They turned to face each other; lips brushed against one another, he tasted of nothing but the dark chocolate from the desert earlier. Narcissa did not even have a glass of wine, knowing he despised the taste of it, even on her lips.

His cold fingers tangled into her blonde hair; it sent a shiver down her spine. Severus whispered into her ear, ”How in the world did I ever get so lucky? How is it? Am I allowed to have any of you? The wretched fool I am, even if I must share you with another.”

She said to him something that even shocked herself, ”You wouldn't have to share me if we ran away together, with Draco. We could go to France, Germany or even the Americas. We could leave all this order and death eater chess match behind, forget that it ever has yet happened.”

Severus sighed, ”We can't do that, Cissa, Lucius, my job, your friends, and most of all, the dark lord. He's going to come back one-day, Cissa, as I am sure as I am breathing.”

”You forget the other reason you will not go away with Draco and me, the mudblood whore.”

”Lily Evans has nothing to do with it,” he snarled.

She laughed, ”Then why is that you call her Lily Evans, not Lily Potter? Severus Tobias Snape, I was not born yesterday, I am not my husband, with the blinders over his eyes. I know the truth. I am no fool.”

His face became even paler if that was even possible, he looked as if he had seen a ghost and she kissed him. ”What must I do to keep you quiet?”

”Teach me, teach me to protect my mind. Teach me how to shield it. And protect Draco, defend him as if he was a son of your own.”

He whispered to her, ”I swear I will.”

Narcissa said to him, “Now if you would still like to join me... I am going to bed.”

He said, ”Always.” 

She knew he would, Severus may be one of the smartest people she knew, but he was still very much a man.

**************************

It seemed like a lifetime and then some since that night, but it had only been a decade. Narcissa sat beside the bedside of Severus. His throat was tightly wrapped, his hand clutched in her own far smaller one. The Potter boy stuck his head in and openly stared.

”But... I thought you were married, and he loved my mother?”

She snarled, ”Out with you... Get out, Potter. It is your fault he lay here nearly dead — your fault. Maybe no one bothered to teach you ever, but love is not something that stops like a clock, we are capable of loving and caring for more than one person. Love is not something we have a limited supply of. Magic folk tend to know that, and it best is you learn such a thing before you marry that little mudblood of your own.”

Severus blinked, his black eyes opened, ”Cissa, you shouldn't be here... Someone might see. What will Lucius say?”

”Nothing. He doesn't care. And even if he does, what does it matter now? Draco is grown, the war is over. I am tired, Severus, tired of living my life by the rules I had no say in setting. I love you; I have loved you for decades.

I will love you for the rest of my days. I know she carried a piece of your heart to her grave, but I hold my own part of it. Love is not something that exists, and you never feel it again. We are not swans, Severus, we do not mate for life. If you truly let me in Severus, I will sit with you in the dark when you cannot look on the bright side. I require no perfect friend or lover; I accept you as you are — scars, wounds, pain, and depression. Let me in Severus, and we shall leave this place of pain and suffering, we shall carve out something worthy of life.

I am not like Lily Potter; I am not afraid of the darkness. I was born in it. I am the sister of Bellatrix Lestrange. Nothing you can do or say scares me.”

Severus whispered, ”You shouldn't have talked to Potter that way, he could get you locked up.”

She laughed,” What good would that do him? I would call in the life debt he owes me. If he did Severus, it means he significantly underestimates me, which would be rather stupid. I lied to the dark lord and lived. By doing so, I saved that boy’s life. But, I bought you, Draco and I, our freedom. And Lucius if I feel like it.

I did it because I love you, my son, and my own life. So shall we start our new life together?”

Severus whispered, ”Yes, Narcissa, we can try and make whatever this is work.”

”I love you, Severus.”

He drawled his voice softly, cracking, ”And I, you.”

She would take it, Narcissa would she understood Slytherins far more than most. True love was not great fire; it was embers that you could not put out.


End file.
